


Their Lists

by wallbanger2008



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Anxiety, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Mentions of Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:55:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24779500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wallbanger2008/pseuds/wallbanger2008
Summary: It's happened. For some reason the stars aligned and April wanted to go out with him. Now if only he could get out of his own head.Donnie has a list of reasons why April could, and maybe should, dump him immediately. Lucky for him, April has her own list that says otherwise. They should really compare those lists.
Relationships: Donatello/April O'Neil (TMNT)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 73





	1. His List

**Author's Note:**

> Donnie's anxiety is starting to eat him. He can't believe April wants to be with him and can't help thinking about all the things that might stand in their way.

The guys always tease him about being poor, anxious, awkward Donnie. But they have no idea. 

Because he really is anxious. Not so much over his or his brothers’ safety. He knows they can handle themselves. One way or another, they always scrape through. 

It’s about April. Somehow, for reasons he still doesn’t understand or quite believe, she’s decided she wants to be with him. He must have been a saint in a past life or something. Regardless, now she’s his girlfriend, and he gets to do things with her that boyfriends and girlfriends do, and it’s amazing. But it’s also terrifying because although Donnie sometimes has trouble understanding why she’d choose him (not that he’s complaining!), he can easily rattle off a list of reasons why he thinks she might walk away tomorrow. 

**His Body**

Donnie has never been 100% comfortable in his body. From the jump, his brothers teased him about his tooth gap and as they grew they also began teasing him for his string bean build. He’s more sensitive about it all than he lets on, and he knows April has picked up on it. 

It _was_ nice to be coddled a little. Once, after overhearing Raph telling Donnie he could floss his teeth with his own bo staff, April had plopped down in Donnie’s lap and kissed him senseless, running her tongue directly over the gap. When they’d come up for air, she’d informed him quite matter-of-factly that she loved his gap and that his smile had been the first thing that had attracted her to him. It was enough to shield him from his brothers’ teasing. Most of the time. 

However it wasn’t his gap or his, er, _svelte_ physique that concerned him most. Every now and then when April was close to him--physically close--he could feel his insecurity wash over him. He was so different from her. He wondered how comfortable she could be, snuggling up against an unyielding shell instead of a softer, more human boyfriend. Sometimes it made him scoot away from her. Not far, maybe an inch or two. But she always followed him like a heat-seeking missile. So that was something. Still, there was no denying that their physical differences lay at the root of most of the things he worried about concerning the two of them.

**Casey**

Yeah, ok, April chose him. Against all odds, she went for him instead of the very-human, very-interested Casey Jones. And although Casey has by and large respected her choice and their relationship, he’s still pretty flirty with her. Donnie tries not to let it bother him because he knows that’s just how Casey is. But when he’s feeling particularly insecure, he can’t help but worry. 

Casey is always right there, and Donnie is pretty sure that if he and April broke up tomorrow, Casey would make a move the day after. It doesn’t help that Casey is able to go places with April that he’ll never be able to and he just has to sit with that fact. Donnie and April may be together, but Casey has access to parts of April’s life that Donnie never will. It’s enough to make him green with jealousy. Well, greener than he already is. 

But if he’s totally honest with himself, it’s not just Casey that bothers him. It’s that Casey represents every other guy who April could be with. Guys who can give her everything she deserves. Things that Donnie knows April is sacrificing to be with him, even if she’d never come right out and say so. Even if she hasn’t realized it yet. New York is a big city, after all, and it’s filled with young men who she could easily go out with instead. 

**His Temper**

Everyone says Raph is the hot head of the group, and they’re right. He does have an awful temper. But Donnie does too, and even though his baseline is nowhere near as angry as his brother’s, his anger is more explosive when it does bubble up. How many times has he bellowed at his brothers--particularly Mikey--for something that, in the long term, barely mattered? 

He loves his brothers. They’re everything to him. And yet he still screams at them in anger he then immediately regrets. Splinter has tried to work with him on controlling his temper or channeling it into his work, but Donnie knows he has a long way to go. But he keeps trying, because he’s terrified of turning that anger on April. 

And really, isn’t it only a matter of time? Because as much as he adores April, he knows all couples fight once in a while. They’ve already had a few minor disagreements. And April herself isn’t exactly one to stand down from a fight. He worries that one day she’ll push a button that sets him off. And when that happens, he won’t blame her for walking away. 

**College**

He knows it’s inevitable. Or at least it should be. He hasn’t talked to April about it yet, but he knows she’s interested in attending college. And she really should--she owes it to herself to go. But not only does he struggle with the idea of her leaving if she decides to go to a school out of town, he also struggles with the fact that she’ll be having this experience alone. Without him. 

Every aspect of it makes him itch. Donnie knows he’ll be jealous of the learning opportunities she’ll have and the connections she’ll make. She’ll have easy access to resources and equipment he has to ferret out in the dark. 

And then there’s the social aspect of college. Donnie’s seen the movies. And more accurately, he’s witnessed for himself drunk co-eds sloshing their way home from parties late at night. He’s not naive, he knows what goes on at those parties, and more importantly, what goes on after those parties. He thinks about drunken frat guys grinding up on April while dancing to loud music in dark rooms and he feels sick. He trusts April and believes she would never cheat on him...but who knows who she might meet at one of those parties. He certainly won’t be able to be there. 

**Sex**

It’s a dichotomy. On one hand, he really, _really_ wants to have sex with his girlfriend. What teenage guy wouldn’t? On the other hand, most teenagers don’t have to contend with the hard fact that they are biologically very different from their girlfriends, and although he's, like, 98% sure they’re physically compatible in _that_ way, there are still too many variables to feel comfortable. 

It happens all the time. Donnie will be laying in bed, entertaining thoughts of him and April wrapped around each other, coming so close to that critical moment when they can be joined...and then it happens. A nasty voice that sounds horribly like his own will whisper in his head that it’ll be a disaster. No matter how carefully he plans, there are too many variables. His organized brain can’t help but list them:

  1. They may not, in fact, be physically compatible. Donnie is well-versed enough in human anatomy to know that he’s _bigger_ than human males and it might be a problem. He’s read anatomy books, he’s read advice columns and books about sex, he’s watched plenty of porn. He’s researched this to death, but he’s resigned to the fact that he can’t know for sure if April will be able to...accommodate his size until they try. 
  2. April might get freaked out. Sure, she’s dropped hints that she’s interested. But talking about it and doing it are very different things and Donnie doesn’t think he could bear it if he shows himself to her and her response is, “Yeah, not gonna happen.” He knows in his heart of hearts she would never be so callous, but he also knows from experience that she’s very good at gentle rejection--and even that would sting.
  3. April doesn’t always know what’s best for her. If she did, she probably wouldn’t be hanging around vigilantes and mutants all the time. So, say she doesn’t get freaked out by his dick. Say she’s all in and, yeah, they even manage to get _him_ all in. She could still get hurt. He’s incredibly strong...and she’s incredibly human. Fragile. What if he loses himself in the moment and hurts her? It could happen. It could. 
  4. What if he’s not good? What if they manage to get over every hurdle standing in their way--April doesn’t get freaked out by what his cock looks like, he manages to get it inside of her, and he’s able to have sex with her without hurting her--but then what if he turns out to be terrible at it? He knows, logically, that this must be a concern all guys have, but that doesn’t make it go away. 



So, Donnie makes do with his hand, dreaming of April and trying his best to keep that nasty voice at bay. It’s working. For now. 

**Their Future**

Turtles live for a long time, so Donnie isn’t worried about old age catching up to him before it catches up to April. But it’s not like he’s leading a quiet, safe life. And more worrying, neither is she. Donnie’s anxiety and habit of overthinking things means he’s prone to intrusive thoughts. He’s learned how to acknowledge them, then dismiss them, but it still sucks when you’re in the middle of a project and are suddenly struck with the horrific idea of your girlfriend being ripped apart by an asshole who's literally named after the act of tearing something apart. 

But it isn’t just the constant, low-key stress of losing her in battle that eats at him. It’s what might happen to them even if they both manage to survive into adulthood. Say they’re able to leave this life behind--what then? What does April want? A husband? Children? He’d marry her tomorrow if she asked, but it’s not ever going to be official. Probably. It’s not like he can take her up to city hall. And what kind of husband would he make anyway? He wouldn’t be able to take her out or accompany her to social events. She wouldn’t be able to decorate her office with photos of them together. Her friends and co-workers would wonder about this husband that they could never meet. 

And then there’s the kids thing. Donnie knows April likes children, but she’s never said either way if she’d like some of her own. And even if she did, he really doubts he could give them to her. If he’s already concerned that they won’t fit together physically, that’s nothing compared to the doubts he has about how on earth their DNA would fit together. And that’s not even factoring in the whole “part Kraang” thing. He knows adoption is an option, but then there’s still the whole “how do we raise this kid?” problem. He won’t be able to go to parent-teacher conferences, sporting events, or graduations. Hell, if the kid falls and breaks an arm--and let’s be honest, if it’s their kid, they probably will--he won’t be able to take them to the hospital. Well, at least all that medical knowledge will come in handy. 

So, yeah. Donnie has anxiety about his relationship. He has no idea how he managed to get this lucky and is freaked out that it could all come crashing down around him with one wrong move. Something’s gotta give, though, because it’s starting to consume him. He enjoys his time with April, but the low-key stress of doing something wrong, or just...being something wrong is holding him back. He can’t spend his life walking on eggshells around her. 

The guys always tease him about being poor, anxious, awkward Donnie. But they have no idea. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter: April has her own list.


	2. Her List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April wishes Donnie could just let go and enjoy the amazing thing that's happening between them--and she has list of her own.

Most days, April can’t believe it. She can’t believe how much she loves Donnie. Poor, anxious, awkward Donnie. She just wishes she could fix him.

She’s not blind. Far from it. In fact, she can probably sense better than anyone how strung out Donnie is over the fact that they’re dating. He puts up a good front, playing the role of a caring, sweet boyfriend who’s over the moon about her, and she knows that’s because it’s the truth. Donnie feels more deeply about her than she could have possibly imagined. But she knows how much he’s getting into his own head and she worries that it’s going to lead him to do something stupid. Like sabotage the good thing they have going on. 

If only he knew. There are so many things April loves about him. And so many things she looks forward to doing with him.

**His Body**

If you would have told her a few years ago that one day she would be attracted to a giant, mutated turtle, she would have laughed. But here she is. Admittedly, it had been a slow-building attraction. The first time she’d laid eyes on Donnie she hadn’t exactly wanted to hit that. But that had changed over time. Now, she loved every inch of him. Especially his smile.

Even before she realized how she felt about him, Donnie could melt her with that smile. It was so sweet, so genuine and guileless. And that gap. That gap _did things_ to her. 

She can feel him sometimes getting antsy while they're cuddled up, watching TV and wishes she could convince him that there's nowhere else she’d rather be and how good his strong arms feel around her. So she does what she can. She snuggles in further and the next time they make out she tries her best to make sure he can feel exactly how much she likes his body.

**Their Connection**

April knows Donnie struggles with jealousy and she knows Casey bears the brunt of how a lot of that manifests. She’s not too bothered by that though--God knows Casey brings a lot of it on himself with his relentless flirting. Besides, as she’s told Donnie before, Casey doesn’t stand a chance. Like, _ever_. He’s a dear friend, but Jesus, no.

And she doesn’t say that just because he’s Casey. April is truly only interested in Donnie. She’s never met anyone like him, and that would still be the truth even if he wasn’t a mutated turtle who also happened to be a ninja. There’s no one as smart as Donnie. No one has ever made her feel as loved as Donnie. No one has ever made her as happy as Donnie. 

April has dated before, nothing serious, but enough to know that what she and Donnie have is rare. They connect. And that matters far more to her than whether or not he’s able to take her out for pizza or to the mall like any other boy could. 

**His Temperament**

Donnie is a complex dude. April has seen him at his very best and at his very worst. Yeah, she’s seen him blow up at his brothers. She knows what he sounds like when he shouts his already reedy voice hoarse. And she sees all too often what he looks like when he lets his insecurities get the better of him. When he loses hope.

But she also sees the best in Donnie. He cares. Too much, sometimes. He loves deeply and wears his emotions on his sleeve. She knows he over-invests himself because he believes that by putting in one more sleepless night, he might be able to find the solution that saves them from whatever trouble they’re in this time. It might make him cranky the next day, but he always chooses to do it. 

And she gets his sense of humor. She knows that to others he can come off as sarcastic or snide, but she loves that he’s got a fantastic, bone-dry sense of humor and can drop razor-sharp one liners that have her on the floor laughing. It’s a side of Donnie not everyone gets to see, and if they do see it, they don’t always appreciate it. But she does. 

**His Brains**

April loves when Donnie shows off just how smart he really is. Smart is sexy. It’s unbelievable, the level he’s working on, and sometimes she gets depressed thinking about how much good he could really do for the world if only he could work out of the shadows. 

It really isn’t fair. She’s planning on going to college in a year, but she knows Donnie won’t have that option. And he should. He really should. Although he could probably just skip being a student and go right to being a professor because she seriously doubts an undergrad STEM program could really teach him anything he doesn’t already know. Still, he should have the same opportunities she does.

April already has it all planned out. She’s going to stay in town. She’d love to go to Columbia, but she’d also be happy at NYU. Either way, she doesn’t plan on living on campus. She’ll tell people she’s doing it to save money since she already lives in the city, but really it’s because she doesn’t want to have to explain to any roommates where she goes at night or have to worry about sneaking her boyfriend into a dorm. She’ll be too busy figuring out how to sneak him into the school labs because there’s no way she’s going to let him miss out on that. 

**Sex**

April’s pretty sure she’s ready. 95% sure. Donnie already makes her feel so good and they’ve only just gotten to second base. She’ll never forget the astonished look on his face the first time she guided his hands to her breasts, or the happy, longing groan that escaped him as he started squeezing and caressing them. He may have less experience than her--and really, that’s saying something--but you’d never know it from the way he was able to flood her basement just from kissing her and playing with her boobs. 

Honestly, the only thing holding her back is that she’s nervous. Not about the fact that they’ll be entering what she’s fairly certain are uncharted waters--it’s not like she can ask a friend for advice on the best way to have sex with a giant turtle. She’s nervous for the same reason most girls are nervous about their first times. What if it hurts? What if she’s terrible at it? What if Donnie doesn’t like her body?

Ok, admittedly, that last one is a little far-fetched. She knows he adores her. He’s given her no reason to think that he wouldn’t treat her like an absolute goddess when they eventually have sex. It’s more than a lot of girls can expect from their first time and April doesn’t take that for granted. 

But still. What if it hurts? She’s never seen what he might be packing down there and the idea of asking is mortifying. She’s not sure which one of them would keel over from embarrassment first. She’s done some research on turtle reproductive organs (clearing her search history afterward because good lord if her dad ever saw that…), but it wasn’t much help. After all, Donnie’s a mutant and doesn’t look entirely like most regular turtles. Stands to reason his junk might be different, too. She’s pretty sure she won’t be squicked out by a, er, _different_ looking dick, but what if it’s huge? What if...what if won’t fit? She tries to reassure herself that there are other ways to have sex that don’t involve penis in vagina, but, well, it’s something she’d really like to experience with Donnie. She wants to feel him inside of her. And she won’t know for sure if that’s possible until they try. Ok, maybe she’s closer to 99% sure than she thought. 

**Their Future**

April grew up knowing that there’s no such thing as the perfect family. Sure, it would have been nice to have her mom around, or at least a fully human version of her mom, but she and her dad got by just fine. And she was far from the only person she knew who was growing up outside of the traditional nuclear family. Maybe that’s why she never put too much weight on getting married or having kids. She figured if it happened, great. If not, well, there are plenty of other things on the menu. 

She and Donnie never talk about their future together. It doesn’t bother her too much. For one thing, they’re teenagers. They’ve got a way to go before they need to start making decisions about settling down. But there’s also the fact that they live pretty extraordinary lives. It seems kinda insane to make long term plans when you know an alien invasion capable of wiping out half the city could be just around the corner. Yeah, April’s happy right now just taking things as they come. Day by day, with Donnie at her side. 

She knows one day they’ll have to talk about their future. She just hopes Donnie doesn’t have a meltdown during that talk. Because she’s all in. She knows he’ll hem and haw and try to bring up a million reasons why they don’t make sense together. He’ll say he doesn’t want to hold her back. She knows he will because she knows Donnie perhaps better than he knows himself. She just hopes she’ll be able to convince him of what she knows deep down is the truth: All that stuff he thinks he’s holding her back from? It doesn’t matter. Not to her, anyway. What matters is being with Donnie. 

That talk about their future may not have to happen for a while. Years, even. But she knows they need to have a different sort of talk soon. Because she can feel Donnie holding back. She knows he’s struggling to get comfortable. She knows he’s happy to be with her and he’s happy when they’re together. But she can still sense the underlying anxiety that Donnie carries with him wherever he goes.

Most days, April can’t believe it. She can’t believe how much she loves Donnie. Poor, anxious, awkward Donnie. She just hopes she can fix him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter: Donnie and April stop making lists in their heads and actually talk to each other.


	3. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April and Donnie finally talk about their relationship and April reveals she's ready to take it to the next level. Of course, that starts up an entirely different conversation.

It all comes to a head after about four months of them dating. It started out a fairly uneventful night. They’d patrolled together with the rest of the turtles, then begged off around 10 to go for a movie date—which for April and Donnie meant watching a movie at her place. 

April’s dad was gone for the weekend, but this hardly made a difference. They still hadn’t taken any more steps toward having sex, although it was nice to be able to spend a little time kissing before deciding to relax and watch the movie. 

They were only 20 minutes into the flick when Donnie started feeling that familiar wave of self-consciousness. There was no way April could be comfortable where she was, tucked into his side. The edge of his shell had to be digging into her. There. She moved again. Was she just fidgeting or was she struggling to get comfortable? Donnie sighed and scooted a few inches away, trying to give her some room. And like always, she followed right after him, sidling up against him once more. 

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes and saw she was staring up at him. 

“Don’t make me chase you down the couch again, Don,” she said. He couldn’t quite pin down her tone, but it sounded like a mix between amused and annoyed. 

“What? I don’t know...what are you talking about?” he blustered. 

April sighed and paused the movie. “We’ve been here before. I’m trying to cuddle with you, and you feel like you’re about to crawl out of your skin.”

“I’m not crawling out of my skin.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“I just...I want you to be comfortable,” he said unconvincingly. 

April looked at him for a moment. “I am very comfortable,” she said quietly. “When are _you_ going to get comfortable?”

“What do you mean?”

“Donnie,” April sighed. “I love you. I want to be with you. But...it seems sometimes like you don’t believe that’s true. You need to stop tip-toeing around me. Be with me. All of you.”

Donnie was silent for a moment. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that April had been able to suss out that he was holding back. But he had concrete reasons for doing so. She just needed to hear them, even if that meant...even if that meant she walked away. It would probably be for the best, really. Even if it would hurt him. It would be better for her, and that’s what mattered. But, sewer apples, he really thought he could put off this conversation for a few more months. Oh well. 

He took a deep breath. “April,” he said, his voice shaking. “I love you too. But...sometimes...I just think that maybe...argh,” he growled in frustration. This wasn’t coming out easy.

“Let me guess,” April said, sitting back from him. “You think we won’t work? That I’m wasting my time with you? That we’re too different?”

Donnie stared at her. “How did you…?”

“I don’t need psychic powers to know what you’re thinking, Donnie. I know you.”

“Well, you’re right. Ape, I can’t believe sometimes that you chose me. I mean...look at me! Can you blame me for feeling a little uneasy about it?”

“I am looking at you, Donatello. You know I don’t care that we’re different,” April said stubbornly. “You think I haven’t thought about what that means for us? I have. And I don’t care.”

Donnie shook his head. “You say that now, but what about the future? What about when you go to college? You don’t know who you’ll meet while you’re there.” He saw her open her mouth to retort, but cut her off. “And not just college. April, it’s a big world out there. Lots of people. Lots of guys,” he looked at her meaningfully. “Any one of ‘em can give you a better life than I can.”

April put a hand on his arm. “You’re right. There are a lot of guys out there.” He whipped his head around to look at her. “But I don’t want those guys. Those guys are a dime a dozen. There’s only one Donnie. And I want him.” She scooted closer to him, now rubbing his arm.

He scoffed. “I won’t ever be able to take you out. I won’t be able to travel with you. Or visit you at school. Or,” he blushed. “Marry you. Or have kids with you. You know...like in the future. Other guys can do that.” 

“Donnie,” April said softly. She pulled herself onto his lap and pulled his arms around her. He let her, but the sad, concerned look on his face didn’t change.  “I don’t care about any of that. You don’t need to take me out. And if I decide someday that I want to travel, well, I can do it by myself. Or we can get creative.” She grinned. “I hear the rooftops of Paris can be very romantic.” Donnie snorted. 

“And as for the rest of all that stuff,” she continued, “I don’t need you to marry me to be with me. Plenty of couples never get married. As long as you promise to love me and be with me, that’s all I need.”

Donnie still looked skeptical. April wrapped her arms around his neck. “And I’m not an idiot. I know we probably won’t be able to have kids. But...I don’t know if I even want them. Seems kinda silly to break up with you over something I’m not sure I want. And if I decide I do want kids someday, we’ll figure it out. We’ve dealt with all kinds of insanity. You think we couldn’t handle kids?”

Donnie chuckled despite himself. He was starting to feel a little better. At least April had thought about their future and wasn’t depressed by the idea. He squeezed her, silently thanking her. 

She leaned in and kissed him gently. “I want to be with you, D. I love you.” She kissed his cheek, then began kissing down his neck as she spoke. “I love,” _kiss_ , “every,” _kiss_ , “part,” _kiss_ , “of you.”

Donnie shivered in pleasure. He threaded his fingers into April’s hair and brought her in for another kiss. She quickly deepened it, tilting her head and running her tongue across his lips. He opened for her and sighed as her tongue brushed against his own. 

Their kissing became heated, and soon April was squirming around in his lap. He loosened his hold on her, thinking she might want a break, but to his surprise, she turned in his lap to straddle him. Donnie gasped as she slid forward, pressing herself against him. 

“Donnie…” April sighed. “I’ve been thinking. I want...I think it’s time we…” 

Donnie, still a little punch-drunk from her kisses and the fact that she was now pressed directly up against him, wasn’t following. “Huh?” was all he could muster. 

April answered by rolling her hips, causing herself to grind against his lower plastrons and sending a shiver through him. Donnie groaned, then his eyes grew wide as he realized what she was getting at. A fresh wave of panic washed over him as she repeated the motion.. 

“A-A-April,” he stammered, grabbing her hips and keeping her still. 

April frowned slightly. “Donnie,” she murmured. “I want you. I want you to make love to me. And...it’s ok if you aren’t ready. We don’t have to...today. But...I want to,” she rolled her hips again. “I _really_ want to. Do you?”

Donnie stared up at her, silently rehashing all the reasons why this might be a disaster. But...she felt so good against him. His fingers flexed and gripped her hips tighter. “I...yeah, I mean of course,” his voice sounded an octave higher than usual. “I want you, April...so bad. But…” 

“But what?” she asked softly. 

Donnie ducked his head, avoiding her eyes. How could he put this to her? He didn’t want to scare her off. This was clearly a turning point in their relationship. Blurting out “I’m afraid my dick is too weird” wouldn’t do, although that phrase was now circling unhelpfully in his head. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. 

“April,” he started slowly. “I...I don’t...I’m not like, other guys--you know, down there,” he nodded toward his crotch. 

“Yeah, I figured that might be a possibility,” April said. “But...it still works, right? Like...the mechanics are the same, right?”

“Actually, they’re a little different,” Donnie began, transitioning easily into scientist mode, despite still having a pretty girl in his lap. “Unlike human males, my, er, penis isn’t external. When I’m, you know, excited, it drops down from…”

“Donnie, that’s not what I meant,” April cut him off. “But, uh, thanks for the biology lesson.” Donnie blushed. “I was asking if it would work the same. You know, insert Tab A into Slot B.”

Donnie nodded. “Uh, yeah...that’s how it would work. Hopefully.”

“Hopefully?”

“Welllll,” Donnie blushed even deeper. This is what he’d been dreading. He wanted to retreat into his shell and hide. “That’s what I was getting at. I’m...not like human men.”

“Yeah, you said,” April was starting to sound impatient. 

“I mean that...you know...it’s different.”

“How?”

“It...it’s just...it could…” Donnie stammered. This was going terribly.

“What, Don? What’s the problem?” April pushed.

A floodgate inside of him burst. “It’s a different shape and frankly, I’m worried it’s too big for you and you’re going to get hurt!” he snapped. 

April didn’t say anything for a moment. _Oh great_ , he thought. _There it is. You’ve gone and lost your temper and now she’s going to be scared off by both your dick and your inability to keep cool._ He hung his head. 

“Donnie.”

He looked up. April was smiling down at him. _What?_

“Donnie, I’m going to ask you two easy questions. I want you to answer with a simple yes or no. Try not to overthink, ok?” Her easy-going tone surprised him.

“Uh, ok.”

“All right. Question one. Do you want to have sex with me?”

“Yes.” He answered before he could even think. 

April nodded. “Ok. Question two. Even though it might take some, uh, adjusting, do you think there’s a chance that it’s physically possible for you to have sex with me?”

Donnie paused. “Um…”

“Don’t overthink it,” she warned him.

“Then...yes.”

April’s smile broadened. “There it is,” she murmured and leaned in to kiss him again. “Donnie,” she said, breaking away. “I figured you might look a little different. I’m ok with that. I still want this.” She ran her hand down the front of his plastron and Donnie knew he was toast. “Do you?”

He shuddered and gave in. “Yeah...yeah I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter: Donnie and April do the deed. Get ready for a rating change.


	4. The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April helps Donnie forget his list. Explicitly.

How did he get here? How was he so lucky to get such a gorgeous, firecracker of a girl in his lap? And not only in his lap, but kissing him and wiggling against him in a way that-- _oh dear God_ , he was going to lose his mind if she didn’t stop grinding herself against him.

Donnie squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to grab April’s hips and push her back a fraction of an inch. She broke off their kiss with a slight pout. “What’s wrong?” she murmured. 

Donnie shook his head. “Nothing..nothing, I just...I need a minute.” He glanced around. They were still in April’s living room and if this was really going to happen, he wanted to do it right. “Let’s, uh, do you mind if we, uh, go to your room? For this?” he asked, not wanting to sound too demanding. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin the mood. If April was crazy enough to want this now, he was going to try his damndest not to spoil it for her. For them, really. 

He needn’t have worried. April grinned and hopped off his lap. “Absolutely,” she said, and grabbed one of his hands. He allowed himself to be tugged through the apartment and into her room. April closed the door, then rounded on him. In an instant she was back in his arms, kissing him and pushing him gently backward toward her bed. 

“Mmmph, D,” she sighed, speaking in between kisses. “I’m so glad we’re finally doing this. You have no idea.”

Donnie was normally pretty good with spatial reasoning, but that skill had apparently exited stage right. Her bed hit his legs unexpectedly and he found himself tumbling backward with a soft “oof.” He barely had time to recover before April was climbing on top of him and straddling him again. She bent down and began kissing and biting his neck, forcing a churr to bubble out of him. She paused and looked down at him, confusion written across her face. “What was…?”

He blushed and looked away. He had suspected this might happen. But really, churring was the least embarrassing thing that might happen tonight, so he supposed it was best to come clean. 

“It’s a noise I...well, turtles make when we, you know, get _excited_.” He looked at her pointedly. “I can’t control it. Sorry,” he added hastily.

April looked positively gleeful. “That. Is. The cutest. Thing,” she practically sang. “I love it,” she said, as if that settled the matter. 

“Uh, ok then. Glad you like it,” said Donnie, a little thrown by her enthusiasm. This was unexpected. 

“Can I try to get you to do it again?” 

Donnie’s eyes widened. “Uh, yeah, be my guest.”

“Awesome.” She dove back in, working at his neck until she found a sensitive spot. Donnie churred again, this time making her giggle. 

Her enjoyment was contagious, and Donnie felt something bold wash through him. “Oh yeah?” he teased. “Two can play this game. You might not churr, but I’m sure I can get some fun noises out of you.”

He gripped onto April’s hips and swung her over onto her back, enjoying the sound of her gasp. Donnie positioned himself between her legs and, using one hand, lifted her arms over her head and pinned her down by her wrists. He glanced at her face, checking to see if he’d overstepped, and saw only a broad grin before he began nuzzling her neck. 

Keeping one hand on April’s wrists, Donnie slid his other hand up her stomach until he was cupping her breast. He ran his fingers gently over her hardened nipples before massaging her flesh, occasionally teasing her nipples with a few swipes. He knew from before that she enjoyed this and was rewarded with a soft moan. 

“There it is,” he teased. “Knew I could get something out of you.”

“Donnie,” April groaned. 

“What is it, princess?” He could practically hear her rolling her eyes at his nickname for her. 

“Let me...I want...take off my shirt.”

Donnie blinked. Ok. This was happening. He sat up, releasing her wrists and helped her into a sitting position. April hastily peeled off her shirt and took her bra off along with it. 

Donnie’s mouth went dry. They’d only done over the shirt stuff so far. He’d never even see a pair of naked breasts in person before. “Hnnnngh,” was all he could articulate as he stared. 

April giggled. “So, was that another churr?” she teased. 

Donnie collected himself enough to give her a look, which immediately softened. He reached a hand toward her, stopping just short of actually touching her. “Can I?”

“Please.”

He placed his hands on her boobs, marveling at how soft she felt. He cupped and squeezed for a moment before lowering himself down to take a nipple in his mouth. He felt April arch her back, pushing herself into him with a gasp, and he gently guided her back down. 

As he continued playing with and sucking at her breasts, he felt April squirming beneath him. He didn’t realize until she had done it that she had taken off her shorts and panties and was now laying fully naked under him. 

He glanced down, breathing in shallow breaths. “Oh my god,” he wheezed. “You’re...you’re really…”

“I really hope the next word out of your mouth is a compliment,” April said, her crooked smile belying her self-consciousness.

Donnie nodded frantically. “I was going to say naked, but yeah, beautiful also works.” 

April snorted in amusement, then turned serious. “Touch me, Donnie,” she said quietly. “I can show you, you know, if you need…”

Donnie shook his head. “No, uh, I think, uh, I know what to do.”

He reached a shaking hand down between them and cupped her over her mound. He could feel the warmth coming from between her legs, and his hand slipped down almost on its own accord. 

Immediately, he could feel how wet she was, and he shuddered, suddenly realizing that his erection was _thisclose_ to dropping out of his shell. He clenched his teeth and fought back. Not yet. He wanted to at least have this, in the off chance she changed her mind once she fully saw him.

After getting himself under control, Donnie ran a finger over her slit and was rewarded with a shuddering breath as April reacted to his touch. Imbued with more confidence, he lowered himself down and nudged her legs further apart. He could smell her arousal and he breathed it in. 

“Can I?” he asked, looking back up. April had brought herself up onto her elbows and was looking down at him. She nodded. 

Donnie kissed each of her inner thighs before experimentally flicking his tongue across her clit. He heard her suck in a ragged breath, and took it as a good sign. He began licking and sucking at her, noting what kind of pressure she liked and where. He eventually focused his efforts on her clit, swirling his tongue around it, then gently sucking on it as he began gliding a finger over her slit. It dipped into her and she bucked her hips upward. He pulled back momentarily, and asked in a husky voice that surprised him, “Is that good? Is that what you want?”

April grunted. “Yeah, keep going. Just...don’t stop, ok?”

Donnie resumed licking and sucking at her and now began pushing his finger into her folds. She was so warm. And so wet. It was becoming almost painful to keep his cock in place, but he forced himself as he began to piston his fingers in and out of her.  He could feel her body start to sway as he sped up his rhythm and he put one arm up against her side, holding her in place. He continued to work for her, licking and sucking, until he could hear and feel her breathing become erratic and her body started to faintly convulse. 

He kept up his ministrations, and in a few moments, he felt her stiffen in against his arm as she let out a loud moan.  He held onto her until her body stopped shaking, then pulled himself up next to her and watched her flushed face as her breathing returned to normal. 

She looked up at him through heavily lidded eyes. "Oh...wow," was all she could muster.

Donnie grinned, despite himself. “Good?” he asked.

“So good,” she said, turning on her side. He watched as her eyes scanned the length of him, and noticed her brow furrow. 

“What?”

April bit her lip. She looked hesitant and when she spoke, it was haltingly. “Donnie. Uh, I know you said you were, you know, different, than human guys. So, I could have this all wrong but...aren’t you, you know? Excited?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I just thought by now...you know, you would be, um, hard?” she said gently.

Donnie inwardly groaned. This was it. The moment he’d been dreading. Well, no avoiding it now. He took a deep breath. “I...I am. I mean, pretty much, I’ve just been, eh, keeping it hidden.”

April gave him a look that told him she knew all too well what he was doing. “Show me,” she said. It wasn’t a demand, but it wasn’t a question, either. 

Donnie nodded and let himself drop down. He watched her carefully, scanning her face for any sign of rejection or disgust. To his surprise, he saw none. As April gazed at him, he merely saw some curiosity and what looked like hunger. 

“Oh wow,” she breathed out. “You weren’t kidding. About the size, I mean,” she added quickly. “But, I’m pretty sure it’ll fit, you know, if we go slow. You should probably take your gear off though.”

Donnie felt like he’d just shed a great weight. He smiled with relief and quickly shed his pads and wraps. “Ok,” he said quietly. “So, uh, do you have any preference for how you want to…?”

April reached out and grabbed his shoulders, guiding him back on top of her. She spread her legs, letting him nestle into the space between them. His breath hitched as he felt himself slide against her warm, wet core. “Oh god,” he gulped.

“Are you ready, D?” April whispered, squeezing his shoulders a little. 

He nodded and reached down to position himself at her entrance. Slowly, he began to thrust into her. She moaned and wiggled beneath him as they worked together to get him all the way sheathed in her tight heat. It took some time and it was a little awkward. He had to withdraw a bit a few times before pushing back in, but eventually, he was completely seated inside her. He looked down at her, trying like hell to hold himself together. The way she was gripping him made him feel like he could burst any second, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to try to make this first time good for her too. 

“How, _oh god_ , how are you doing?” he gasped out. 

“I’m fine,” she muttered. “Just, just keep moving.”

Donnie let out another churr and began to slowly move in and out of her. It felt like heaven. So warm and so good. It took him a few minutes to find a good rhythm, but before long, he began to feel April moving against him, matching his pace and moving together with him as one as he pumped into her. Changing things up a little, he rotated his hips in a circular motion, grinding against her. He was rewarded with a long moan as he moved within her at a new angle.

“Oh god...Donnieeee,” April whined. Hearing his name like that almost made him cum right then and there. 

“April, I want you to....I’m not going to last much longer,” he panted. 

His words seemed to spur April into action. She pushed against his plastron. 

“What? Do you want me to stop?” he asked, confused. 

“No, flip over. On your back,” April instructed. 

He flipped over, bringing her with him, but he slipped out of her. Without hesitating, she reached down and grasped his length, making him gasp and jerk his hips. April lined him up before sinking down on him. She wasted no time before she began moving. He looked up and groaned at the sight of her bouncing up and down, her breasts jiggling with each movement. After an awkward moment of being unsure what to do, he placed one hand on her hip and another on her boobs, swiping his fingers over her nipples and pinching them. 

“Oh god, Donnie, I’m getting close,” she moaned as she rode him. 

“Me too, Ape,” he groaned. “Just, ughhh, keep moving your hips like that, I , unngh.” He began thrusting up into her.

April grabbed his hand off her breast and brought it down between her legs. Picking up on her suggestion, he thumbed her clit as he stroked into her. The combination of the two must have been enough because soon she began to shake. Donnie felt her muscles begin to convulse around his cock and groaned. He thrust twice more then came, emptying himself into her. 

She stilled on top of him, but he kept his grip on her hips as his breathing returned to normal. After a few moments of silence, she rolled off of him. He hissed as he slipped out of her again, the air feeling cold on his cock in the absence of her warmth. No matter, he’d soon be sheathed safely away again. 

Donnie turned on his side to face her. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. Right now, he was just feeling...thankful. Happy, Satisfied. 

April finally spoke. “So,” she said softly, smiling over at him. “That was…pretty amazing.”

Donnie grinned. “Yeah, that’s definitely how I would describe it.”

“It was good for you?”

He stared at her. “April, that was...everything. I...you don’t know how _good_ that was for me. I never...I never thought…”

“What, that I would want to?”

“That anyone would want to!” he huffed. “I mean, look at me.”

“Donnie,” her tone was warning. 

“I know, I know,” he conceded. She clearly was not here for a pity party. “I just...thank you. Like you said. That was amazing.” He reached out and squeezed her hand. 

April smiled, a mischievous glint in her eye. “You know, Donnie,” she said, a teasing lilt in her voice. “They say that the first time is always a little awkward.”

His heart sank and he went into immediate Panic Mode. “I...I thought...oh god, I’m so sorry...I thought you said…”

April laughed. “Donnie, no, you don’t understand! I meant that if our first time was that good...imagine how good it’s going to get from here on out.”

Donnie let out a big breath. “Jesus...don’t do that to me!” he wheezed, giving her a playful punch in the arm. 

April leaned in and kissed him. “Trust me, D. You have nothing to be anxious about.”

And for the first time since they started dating, Donnie believed her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! I love seeing your comments, so don't be shy!


End file.
